Consider the simple spectrum above, with its two extremes. On the right is traditional corporate marketing (“when will marketing commence?”), with all of its structure, paid ads, attribution modeling, press releases, and PR agencies. At the left is the new wave of crypto marketing (“wen marketing”), oftentimes cloaked in anonymity and leveraging dank memes, Telegram chatrooms, guerilla marketing, influencers, and… even more influencers. In many cases, forces act to create paralyzing tension between these two polar extremes, much like a tug of war. Resolving the tension and moving forwards is often achieved by shifting to one end of the spectrum and sacrificing the other. In the crypto marketing world this is often done out of necessity.